"Coming Out" of the Laundry Closet

I have an odd "coming out" story. It makes me laugh now when I think about it, but at the time it was rather horrifying.

I had spent many years working through my gay issues. As I've mentioned before, I was raised Mormon and you simply can't be gay and Mormon. It was an extremely turbulent time of my life. But, finally I had come to accept myself as being gay and I was okay with it.

I had rented some gay-themed movies. Now these weren't dirty movies like Raiders of the Lost Arse and Shaving Ryan's Privates. They were simply gay-themed movies I had rented from Blockbuster.

My sister was coming down to visit for a few days. She had a key to my house and was going to arrive during the day while I was at work. I vividly remember looking at the DVDs on my dresser and thinking how I better put them somewhere where she wouldn't see them. Being the sneaky devil that I am, I buried them in the dirty clothes in my laundry basket.

Now, my sister has never done my laundry before. Why she chose to on this particular day is still a mystery. I suppose she arrived at my house and decided to do something nice for me.

You can imagine my horror when I arrived home to neatly stacked piles of clean laundry on the back of the couch. First my left eye started to twitch uncontrollably and then I wet myself. My mind was racing as I climbed the stairs to my bedroom to change my clothes.

When I saw my laundry basket I had a glimmer of hope. There were still some dirty clothes in it, and a quick check revealed gay videos still hidden under my dirty jeans.

My sister didn't say anything while she was visiting. I did, however, receive a phone call from her several days later. Of course she found the videos and had been stewing over the whole situation for days. Finally she couldn't take it any longer and called me up (and out.)

I confirmed her suspicions. It was actually somewhat of a relief. I suppose there was all kinds of speculation already rampant in my family. After all, any Mormon male over the age of 21.5 years who isn't married is either a homosexual or is a masturbator (can't get married until you stop "abusing" yourself.)

My sister and I had several discussion on the matter over the next several weeks. She of course quoted the standard Mormon positions and ways to "overcome" the problem. I assured her I was familiar with every single word ever written on the subject and had explored every avenue suggested by the "experts" on overcoming same-sex attraction.

We finally had to agree to disagree. This was followed by a several week long "cooling off" period. I think sometimes after the initial flurry of emotion associated with "coming out," people need some time to come to terms with the situation. We shouldn't expect our family and friends to immediately embrace something that has likely taken ourselves years to accept.

To this day, I've never felt the need to gather my family together and declare my gayness. That is important to some, but I've never been so inclined. I told my sister I was fine with her sharing the news with anyone she felt she wanted to. Anyone who doesn't know it by now must be daft.

I still feel accepted by my loved ones. I think everyone has embraced Craig as part of the family. I'm sure there are those that are certain I will not go to the Celestial Kingdom. But, I hear the Pride celebration there isn't all that great anyway.

It's odd to think that I was "outed" by my dirty underwear. But, as usual, I wouldn't have it any other way.